May 2011
“Starting this weekend, Sarah Palin will embark on a One Nation tour of...”
– Sarah Palin Bus Tour Lauching This Weekend On East Coast
Holy shit she’s going to run isn’t she?
Tom Colicchio opening food truck food court under... →
SOLD:
Mr. Colicchio will also be the curator of a rotating collection of five or more food trucks, including lobster rolls from Red Hook Lobster Pound, ice cream sandwiches from CoolHaus, tacos from The Taco Truck, falafel and smoothies from Taim Mobile and cold drinks from the Kelvin Natural Slush Company.
Game of Thrones
I finally got around to watching the first episode. Spoiler alert: It’s great!
Kind of like Lord of the Rings, but with less magic and more gratuitous doggy-style sex scenes.
Four Ways to Make Your iPhone Battery Last Longer →
I needed this info.
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“I’m training my grandchildren to use long-range rifles,” the actor told The...”
– Did Peter Fonda Commit a Federal Offense by Threatening President Obama?
If teaching your grandchildren to use sniper rifles to murder the president is a “federal offense” well then I guess the Tea Party is right — we really have given up our freedom. Thanks a lot, NOBAMA.
“Do this research if we don’t have a season — watch how much evil,...”
– Ray Lewis of Baltimore Ravens says crime will rise if season lost - ESPN
Wait, he already murdered a dude, and that was while he was playing. What’s he going to do if they make him stop playing? Commit genocide?
“It’s the first Woody Allen movie in a long time that feels good going...”
– Midnight in Paris reviewed: Owen Wilson is a charming Woody Allen. - By Dana Stevens - Slate Magazine
MUST SEE THIS IMMEDIATELY.
Gingrich campaign event interrupted by his... →
No, this is not from The Onion:
Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich briefly stopped a campaign event here to shut off his phone as his ringtone sounded ABBA’s “Dancing Queen.”
The song is from the musical “Mamma Mia.” Gingrich said later that he is a big fan of the movie version, starring Meryl Streep, and that his wife, Callista, warned him that the ringtone was going to get him in trouble.
...
“The Haddad children of Middletown, Md., have a lot on their minds: school...”
– Rapture Prophecy Tests Families Split on Belief - NYTimes.com
I feel so bad for these kids. This is a form of child abuse. These parents should be locked up.
But it’s going to be SO SATISFYING when nothing happens tomorrow. I seriously want their home phone number so I can call them and mock...
The Onion: Desperate PBS Premieres Nova: Boobs... →
And this little nugget at the end:
Faced with a similar budget shortfall, NPR announced last week that it had retooled its popular show Fresh Air so that Terry Gross would now conduct all her interviews from a Sybian.
Note to office dwellers: Do not Google “Sybian” if you are at work.
With T-shirt, Obama camp raising money off birth... →
This is so great:
With a donation of at least $25 to the Obama campaign, donors can get a long-form birth certificate T-shirt.
The “limited edition” T-shirt on the front proclaims, “Made in America” beneath a picture of the president. On the back, is a picture of the long-form birth certificate.
Just for good measure they should add a caricature of Donald Trump with stink lines coming off...
“People accuse other people of crimes all of the time. What do we know about the...”
– Ben Stein: Presumed Innocent, Anyone?
Yes, he loves and admires hotel maids…
“In life, events tend to follow patterns. People who commit crimes tend to be...”
– Ben Stein: Presumed Innocent, Anyone?
Ummm… really sound logic there, Ben.
Bueller? Bueller?
“It’s like watching a Street Fighter II character get flurry-slapped by E....”
– Dave Weigel describing the horrible beating Newt Gingrich has been receiving the past two days
Watch the trailer for new cartoon series based on... →
“This is great news!” -Me, 7 years ago
Is anyone honestly surprised by the Arnold news?
This man was well-known for groping STRANGERS who came to interview him on movie sets, mere minutes after meeting them.
Of course he’s eventually going to bang the maid who is in his house every day.
“So, I make you this promise: that I will continue to voice my opinions...”
– FULL TEXT: Donald Trump Releases Statement Saying He Will Not Run for President
Thank god — I was worried there for a second that he’d shut his fat mouth for once. We certainly can’t have that.
Breaking! Trump not running
SHOCKER:
After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the Presidency. This decision does not come easily or without regret; especially when my potential candidacy continues to be validated by ranking at the top of the Republican contenders in polls across the country.
We all knew he was a joke, but I thought that he’d at least string the...
“Evolution, a scientific fact, is not recognized by one of America’s two...”
– Five signs your Republican governor wants to be president - War Room - Salon.com
Rueters: 'Extensive' porn collection found in bin... →
What kind of shit was he into? Pictures of ladies with their hair uncovered, I’m guessing. Maybe a little sexy ankle action, too.
“Yeah… look at this whore with her uncovered ankles. Show me some lower shin, you slut…”
Revenge FAIL
And this is their big retaliation for us killing Bin Laden? “We’ll show you, America — we’ll kill our fellow citizens in our own country. Take that!”
Assholes.
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Angry Birds now available for free on the web →
I think I’m the last person on earth who doesn’t have this game on his iPhone, but I’ll gladly play it online for free.
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“Why are we listening to the Bush administration people anyway? They didn’t...”
– Jon Stewart: Why Are Bush Cronies Taking Credit for Killing Bin Laden? - Gawker.TV
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82-Year-Old Dies In Attempt To Be Oldest To Climb... →
An 82-year-old former Nepalese foreign minister has died in his attempt to become the oldest person to climb Mount Everest, a government official said Monday.
Shailendra Kumar Upadhyaya died Monday afternoon, hours after arriving at Camp One in his record attempt, the official told AFP by telephone from Everest base camp. The cause of his death was not yet known.
Upadhyaya had said he wanted...
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I've been looking ALL OVER for an animated GIF of...
Mission accomplished:
“In accord with our religious beliefs, we do not publish photos of women, which...”
– POLITICO: Newspaper that airbrushed Hillary out of situation room photo responds to controversy
That’s some creepy Taliban-level shit right there.