February 2009
Alright, this John McCain on Twitter thing is... →
This guy is like the Wilt Chamberlain of... →
(via alexbalk)
Ewwww… my grandma died in Hamilton county last year.
So I've been talking with my co-workers,...
Here’s the shot tally:
4 Patron Silver
2 Yaeger
1 Jack
That plus 7 or 8 beers.
I remember at one point thinking “Why am I slurring my speech so much?”
“This year’s Conservative Political Action Conference is impressively...”
– You have to read the rest of Slate’s hilarious write-up about CPAC
Remember the good old days when you could tell a...
You don’t? Well, Clint Eastwood sure does:
Acting legend Clint Eastwood , 79, apparently believes that political correctness has rendered modern society humourless, for he accuses younger generations of spending too much time trying to avoid being offensive.
The Dirty Harry star insists that he should be able to tell harmless jokes about nationality without fearing that people may brand...
WatchThe guy who plays Kenneth the Page responds to Bobby Jindal, his Indian doppelganger, on the Jimmy Fallon webcast.
This is funny-ish, but it could have been a lot better. Fallon’s writing staff could use a little help, methinks.
“The people on our side are really making a mistake if they go after Bobby Jindal...”
– Rush Limbaugh, defending Kenneth the Page after last night’s disastrous speech
So, Bobby Jindal is brilliant… Sarah Palin is brilliant… George Bush will be remembered as a great president… Rush really knows how to pick ‘em, right?
(Via Wonkette)
Esquire: When to Break Out the Boat Shoes →
marseeah: Reblogging for Joe. And his ever present boat shoes. (via justsayjolie)
ME: I’m wearing them today. Sockless.
Who would you want to narrate your life?
branduponthebrain: Ira Glass or Werner Herzog; Whoopi Goldberg, Alec Baldwin, and Morgan Freeman would be second tier candidates.
chimp-shitbitch-kittenscrazy: Hugh Laurie…in french
jackieheartsb: Jonathan Rhys-Meyers or Sean Connery.
Me: Ron Howard, obviously.
Report: Spider-Man Broadway musical set for 2010 →
“Spider-Man, Turn Off the Dark” will open on Broadway on February 18, 2010 with music and lyrics written by U2’s Bono and The Edge.”
This has to be a joke, right?
(via natface)
Huffington Post: Jindal vs. Kenneth the page -- A... →
This guy’s national political career basically ended before it started tonight.
Spock's death scene in Star Trek 2: The Wrath of...
Seriously. That shit goes on forever. Spock gives a goddamn lengthy speech while his skin is pretty much falling off from radiation poisoning.
Did I mention I went to school in the ghetto?
Some drunk chick at my alma mater was trying to go home after being out at the bar. She was mistakenly pounding on the door of her neighbor’s house. So the neighbor fucking shot her:
According to police reports, officers were first called to Memorial Hospital after a woman was admitted to the emergency room with a gunshot wound to her arm. The woman, who police said was heavily...
Bobby Jindal is creepy
No way he has a snowball’s chance in hell of getting the GOP nomination, let alone beating Obama in 2012.
Also, he might be mentally ill, because he sincerely believes that he took part in an exorcism, helping to expel a demon from one of his friends back in college.
Wait, I was right
You may remember there was some confusion over my doctor’s name.
I found his business card, and I was right — it is Goldstein.
So now the question is, who is this mysterious Dr. Greenburg who called me the other day?
At least I’m not an anti-Semite.
GODDAMMIT
They added another NYC screening of The Room — but it, like the first one sold out.
Why Lisa? Why?
“We don’t even need another film about the Holocaust, do we? It’s...”
– Kate Winslet, from an especially prescient episode of Extras that aired in August 2005. (Video here)
Wishful thinking on the Oscar red carpet
Miley Cyrus, noting “Hannah Montana the Movie” comes out in April said “Hopefully we’ll be here next year getting something for that.”
(via)
“I know, it’s a touchy subject, but someday, we all have to confront the...”
– Bill Maher at the Oscars last night
Maher is a total prick, but he’s right about 99% of the time.
Sophia Loren looks like she went to Mickey...
What's with all the Japanese guys who can't speak...
It's Wes Anderson's dream come true
Funny little Indian guys are taking over the Oscars.
Also
I was certain that my doctor’s name was Dr. Goldstein.
Turns out it’s actually Dr. Greenburg.
Does that make me an anti-Semite?
So I may have broken my hand
I woke up at 6am and had to go the bathroom. While I was standing there, I got a headrush and blacked out momentarily. (This happens to me every couple of months — some combination of alcohol and standing up after lying down for a long time causes it.)
When I came to a few seconds later, I was lying on the bathroom floor with my left hand trapped painfully beneath my body.
It’s...
“If you can’t occupy a building while you’re in college, when else...”
– Gawker: “NYT Food Court Revolution crushed”
Do you think Chris Brown's career is over?
It’s certainly going to take him a while to recover from this. And rightfully so.
Then again, R. Kelly banged and then pissed on a 14 year old and videotaped the whole thing. And not only did he avoid prison, but his career is arguably better off today than it was before the tape surfaced.
Vegan Lunch Dilemma Brings NYU Revolutionaries to... →
This reminds me of my college days.
But we weren’t fighting for Palestinian rights. We were fighting the administration’s cruel ban on hard liquor in the dorms. (That’s not a joke. That’s actually what we were protesting.)
I, of course, was the leading campus revolutionary.
(Gawker via jgh)
Famous people who share my birthday (March 3)
Alexander Graham Bell
the guy who played Scotty on “Star Trek”
the guy who played Jerry’s father on “Seinfeld”
the guy who played Bud Bundy on “Married… With Children”
the guy who played the fat kid in “The Sandlot” (great movie)
Ira Glass, host of “This American Life”
Jackie Joyner-Kersee
former NFL running back...
“I almost don’t want to spoil this for you, but there’s a lot of blue...”
– From an early review of The Watchmen movie (via Defamer)
I first read this comic book graphic novel for an English class in college.
There were probably about 3 dozen glimpses of Dr. Manhattan’s wang:
Glad to see the movie is staying true to the source material.
“Newly elected Republican National Committee Chairman Michael S. Steele plans an...”
– (Washington Times via Wonkette)
Yes, I’m certain that blacks and Hispanics will just flock to a political party that’s made up entirely of white men who despise them.
“Leah says that she was angry and resentful that she got sent home, so she is...”
– ZING!
(Top Chef recap via Videogum)
I just spent 45 minutes trying to fax one page
The first machine I sent it to had an busy signal because someone had sent a 42 page fax.
By the time the line was finally clear, the machine was out of toner.
The second machine had an inexplicable busy signal.
They found a third machine — but gave me the wrong number.
Finally, they gave me the right number for machine number three — and it went through.
Why are we still using...
jaimeleighfairbrother: “I’m 25 now. Should I be ironing my clothes?”
Nope. Waste of time. Cough up the 2 bucks for someone else to do it for you.
WatchTonight on NBC - the WACKIEST episode of Law & Order ever!
(RELATED: Last week on NBC, the worst Law & Order promo ever)