January 2009
“AOMORI, JAPAN—At first glance, 17-year-old Misaki Nakajima seems like any other...”
– The Onion: “Asian Teen Has Sweaty Middle-Aged-Man Fetish”
My bank = not that smart
So a guy from Chase bank just called me. He’s like “Mr. Muto we have a special offer for you. We’ll give you a savings account with a higher interest rate. All you have to do is move $25,000 into the account.”
Keep in mind, this is my bank. They know exactly how much money is in my checking and savings account. They should know that I’m not anywhere close to...
Children of Men is one of the most amazing movies...
Why is this film not more famous or recognized?
“This is what you should do while Kat is away: Try on your decent clothes, get...”
– My mom, who is awesome, commenting on my bachelor week challenge.
I don't believe in astrology at all, but some of...
March 3rd Birthday Astrology
A Pisces born on March 3 is aggressive and opinionated. Professional goals are a priority, and success is an important goal in their lives. Despite these, they are also tuned in to life’s spiritual aspects. They may possess extreme psychic sensitivity. They approach life from a dreamer’s perspective….
March 3 natives are solitary and have a...
ABC News: CIA Chief is suspected serial rapist →
Typical knee-jerk liberal media hyperventilating.
Don’t you people remember that George Bush said we have to think outside the box if we want to win the War on Terror?
While the Kat is away, the Joe will play
As many of you may know, Kat is out of town for a week, kicking back in Hawaii with her family while I’m freezing in snow-covered New York City.
The upside is this means that — for the first time in my life — I live alone.
Let me repeat that — I live alone in a sweet bachelor pad in the middle of the one of the best neighborhoods in New York.
I cannot waste this...
“Last I checked, an IM is not an invitation to send me a picture of yourself...”
– Kat O’Leary, responding to the controversy that has transfixed Tumblr since early this afternoon.
Apparently this guy sent a racy picture to a girl who he met while blogging. She turned it into a cartoon (link is mildly NSFW). And everyone else flipped out, because Tumblr is pretty much...
“Very impressive session with Republican House members.If President carries this...”
– Republican Representative Pete Hoekstra twittering on his meeting with the President. (Via)
Jezebel: Did the New York Times accidentally out... →
The tipster explains that he overheard Wu saying that while his parents knew he is gay, some of his other relatives did not, and that the frank revelation has caused some awkward conversations. The tipster says the Taiwan-born designer’s parents were “disappointed” their son couldn’t have been more “discreet.”
With all due respect to his relatives —...
Speaking of breakfast...
I’m thinking of switching from instant oatmeal to steel cut oats, based on Mark Bittman’s endorsement.
He recommends eating it with maple syrup, or dried fruit, or olive oil and olive tapenade, or soy sauce and scallions.
Sounds weird to me, but then again I’m not always in the mood for sweet stuff in the morning.
Men's Health: The 20 Worst Foods of 2009 →
The magazine runs down the most unhealthy chain restaurant foods.
To me, the most jaw dropping is the Bob Evans Stacked and Stuffed Caramel Banana Pecan Hotcakes.
Featuring:
1,543 calories
77 g fat (26 g saturated; 9 g trans)
2,259 mg sodium
198 g carbs
109 g sugars
As the article helpfully points out:
This bad boy packs in more than 75 percent of your...
WatchHey, remember Puppy Cam, the live feed of a litter of puppies?
Now there’s Kitty Cam, a live feed of a litter of kittens.
You’re welcome.
(via Videogum)
Marseeah: "NPR just told me that a musical based... →
I’ll be first in line. A musical based on zombie dancing sounds like a winner.
Plus, Thriller is such a fucking great album.
I would personally drive a schoolbus full of 9 year old boys to the Neverland Ranch if I thought it would help that batshit man-child create another album even 1/3 as good as Thriller.
But alas, the genius has gone away.
Last night's Thai food leftovers...
…become this morning’s breakfast.
Spicy basil chicken with sticky rice beats the hell out of my usual instant oatmeal.
“The Freedom of Information Act should be administered with a clear presumption:...”
– From one of Obama’s executive orders last week.
After the Bush administration turned FOIA into a joke, this is a welcome turn of events.
NY Times: Women are aroused by straight porn, gay... →
This article is amazing.
“A senior Vatican official on Saturday attacked US President Barack Obama for...”
– For the record:
signing a bill to allow foreign abortion funding = arrogance
buggering little boys and then covering it up = A-OK!
Holy. Fucking. Shit. →
A female Chinese graduate student has been decapitated with a knife by a fellow student at Virginia Tech.
Xin Yang, a 22-year-old graduate student from Beijing, was killed by a fellow student — Haiyang Zhu from Ningbo, China — at an Au Bon Pain cafe on the Virginia Tech campus in Blacksburg, Virginia, university officials said.
I don’t want to sound flippant about this,...
“On the 36th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, we are reminded that this decision not...”
– Statement of President Obama on the 36th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade (via Ben Smith)
“Reduce the need for abortion”? Wait, I’m confused… I thought all them lib-ruhls LOVED killing innocent babies.
This is probably just more Socialist chicanery from the well-known Muslim B....
Good news!
After a month of wrangling with the Post Office, Amazon.com and an outside vendor, I finally got my watch.
The Postal Service admitted that they fucked it up, and the vendor agreed to send me another watch for free.
But of course there was one last snafu — the postman tried to deliver it on Tuesday but there was no one to sign for it. So I had to schlep down to the Post Office near my...
I guarantee they serve White Russians at this bar,...
marseeah wrote:
It’s been one of those long days. And this happy hour is very needed. For anyone in SoHo/West Village area, the Emerald Pub has half price drinks ($3 Gin and Tonics!) and I plan on being there in 3 minutes.
Click through to the website for that pub and the headline will make sense.
Is it gross that I haven't had a teeth cleaning in...
I have pretty good oral hygiene. Brushing and flossing and whatnot. I’ve never had a cavity in my life.
I just haven’t bothered to schedule a dentist appointment in two years.
Normally dentists send out those little reminder cards, but my last dentist was this flashy storefront office called Vital Dent that basically exists only to sell you expensive teeth whitening services, and...
Hey, the car just stopped halfway there and Barack...
The lady on the teevee says that this is the first time since Carter that a President has walked during the Inauguration parade.
This parade strikes me as somewhat less than...
Just a bunch of people waving at a heavily armored limo with tinted windows.
I know that we can’t put the President in a convertible (thanks a lot JFK for ruining it for everyone else!) but can’t we get him a Pope-mobile or something?
“House Democratic lawmakers formed a raucous audience from the section of seats...”
– (via The Hill)
Obama is now president, even though he hasn't...
According to the AP:
Even before he took the oath of office, Obama assumed the country’s highest office by mandate of the U.S. Constitution. The 20th Amendment specifies that the terms of office of the president and vice president “shall end at noon on the 20th day of January … and the terms of their successors shall then begin.” And so, the transfer of power was complete...
Aretha is knocking this shit out of the park...
…which is amazing, because “My Country Tis of Thee” is the all time worst patriotic song.
Unfortunately a giant glitter-covered bow appears to be eating her head.